Train for a while, and inevitably someone will get hurt in your class. We minimize it as much as possible, but self-defense is a contact activity, and sometimes there’s a strike or a fall that hits hard. In that moment, it’s natural to be concerned for your training partners, but one of the worst things you can do is ask, “Are you ok?” There are two possibilities: Either they are ok, or they aren’t. First, they might not know at the moment. They’re just in pain. And the last thing you want when you’re hurt is to have to answer someone’s questions! Just think about how annoying it is when you’re tired at work and someone is trying to get you to decide on an agenda for the meeting. Then add fatigue and pain to the scenario. So when you ask, “Are you ok?” all you’re doing is adding stress to an already stressful situation. If they are ok, they just want to be left alone to recover, catch their breath, and then get back into training. People who train are tough, they don’t need to be coddled. If they’re not ok, then they REALLY don’t want to talk right then! It’s unlikely anyone - them, you, the instructor - knows exactly the extent of the damage in the first 10 seconds, so the best thing to do is give the hurt person some space, and leave them alone. That’s not saying they will be ignored: The instructor will monitor them, check in as appropriate, and help them recover as needed. At an appropriate point - a break in training, or after class - you can then talk to your classmate and see how they are doing. There’s nothing wrong with caring for the comfort and safety of your classmates, of course. But immediately bombarding them with a question - one they don’t even know the answer to - during a painful and stressful moment, just makes the situation worse. Let them recover a bit, let the instructor manage the situation, and check in with them once things have calmed down.
